God, Grace & The Grit In Between

     I was recently asked to write for a new website called the Female Athlete Mission. So much of what they stand for is sisterhood, love, compassion, and obviously trying to live a faith-filled life. I wanted so badly to write about the bonds of sisterhood and how our relationships should reflect the acceptance and boundless love that we are shown by Jesus. I started writing but I felt a little tug on my heart.       I just wasn’t right. And I had no business writing this because of my personal life. There was a friendship that had been scorched by the fires of jealousy, insecurity, and just straight up pettiness. Ugh I hate to confess this. But pride hates to apologize.      Proverbs 15 says, “a gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” LOL I am not your tight lipped, sweet smiling, let you walk all over me type of Proverbs 31 woman. I have ALWAYS struggled with this mold I feel like I need to fit into ...

As engagement announcements flood my timeline I just want to share this article, this well written, beautiful article that serves as a reminder. But first, a few things that my young and inexperienced self have learned over the last few years.  I’m not engaged. But I want to be. This doesn’t mean what you think, bare with me. Something I've learned the last few years, through experiences of my own and my friends, is that you can be with someone, and still feel completely alone. No, its not all their fault you feel this way. So you can't blame them when it's over. As much as you'd like to, it only eases the pain temporarily. We figure, if we blamed him or her, for all the reasons that this didn’t work out, blamed them for all the pain, then it would all disappear, In a perfect world we'd feel great and move on.  Wrong! I realized that one, it was a heart issue. Not his, but mine. I looked for love in the wrong place. Don’t get me wrong, when dating some...

Ever heard the story of Peter walking out to Jesus on the water? If not, [Matthew 14:22] basically, there was a raging storm, and the men on the boat were absolutely terrified. Then, there appeared Jesus on the water. Peter asked, if it's really you, beckon me out to you. So Jesus said, come. Peter walks out, and is walking on waves. Not just still water, but humongous storm sized waves. Then, he starts to look around and begins to sink. H e was afraid and, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus grabs his hands and pulls him up, then responds, "You of little faith. Why did you doubt? " And when they both got on the boat the men rejoiced saying, "Truly YOU ARE the Son of God!"  I was reminded of this story reading a book. (How's Your Soul? By: Judah Smith) And while reading this book, I honestly had tears streaming down my face. Let me explain why.  Peter. Was face-to-face with The Savior. And STILL he doubted. He could physically reach out and touch the Lord...

Wanted to share-A moment I'll never forget...The first time I saw someone purchase my jersey. Won't lie, it got to me.  I remember being 8 and dreaming of moments like these. I'll never take these things for granted. And I made a promise I would never give up.  New post//link in bio.  I've found lots of time to write lately. So here it goes! Throughout the season one of the things I found the greatest joys in are gamedays. Obviously! It's a day where we get to see our hard work pay off but most importantly, have fun. Oh, and win. This team sure does know how to win. And winning is also really fun. For me, I really enjoy seeing all the fans after the game. It feels personal for me. I very vividly remember being eight years old and getting to be a ball-girl for the Lee's Summit North High School Varsity soccer team. Wednesdays were truly my favorite day of the week. I wore my t-shirt to school every game day. It was a quote picked out by, i...

I know we hear all of the time, "life is short" or "tell the ones you love that you care" etc, but I beg that it doesn't take a tragedy for us to understand the fragility and importance of life and love. We hear all too often about discovering love through pain. Yesterday's events were earth-shattering for the town of Stillwater, the University of Oklahoma State, and for the state of Oklahoma. Stillwater is a fairly quiet town. My family is from here. My mother grew up here, went to HS down the road, then went on to graduate from OSU along with 98% of my family. This town means so much to our family. The people mean so much. My memories are a safe town. A place where we don't lock our doors, we walk around the neighborhood, and we go to every OSU sporting event. No matter their record that year. We walk around, smiling and waving and shouting "Go Pokes!" That's what I grew up with. Tradition, hospitality, loyalty, and a love for this scho...

Year one. I just wrapped up my first rookie year in the league. What a wild ride it's been. Lots of sweat, some blood, and maybe even more tears haha! I'm confident enough to admit to that though. It's been the most challenging year of my career. I have learned so much more about myself as a player, a competitor, and about the game in this short season than I thought I would. I still wake up and can't believe I get to play a game, yes a game for my job. It's what I dreamed of as a kid! And hopefully I'll continue to live out that dream and reach other goals I've set for myself. I'm not sure what comes next. But I want to share what I leave this season having learned.  There are no shortcuts on the road to success.      I could write a novel on this. (Maybe one day) I've been told this repeatedly my entire life. My parents were athletes and coaches, and the "hard work beats talent" mentality was ingrained in me and my siblings at a youn...

I can guarantee that every single person reading this has had a friend, family member, or loved one who has been affected by cancer. As it has affected my life, and those I love in more ways than one one.  I didn't have any sports heroes, idols or general role models that I honestly looked up to growing up. I admired people for qualities that I wished I had or for their strengths that were my weaknesses, but that's it. Now, at 22 years old I have found those role models, the people that I look up to and draw inspiration from. They are the young and brave . Those fighting a battle I know nothing about firsthand. They are daughters, sons, teammates, friends, classmates, dreamers, they are warriors.  On my worst day, I still know that no one has looked at me and told me that there's a chance I may not live to see tomorrow, a chance that I may or may not beat something. Now I know that life is fleeting, and I could live my last day today. But, I know  I don't truly...

Who Cares About Tomorrow?  I had gotten to a point where I felt I had nothing.  Nothing to live for.  Soccer was ripped away from me. My relationship had failed. My family was separating. And I had let go of my faith in Christ.  Ultimately I had given up on myself. I didn't know which was was up. And I didn't care if there was a tomorrow.  I was in pain and couldn't express of explain it. I'm always so happy and full of joy! I've never felt depressed before.  But because I had the amazing support of my friends I was able to find myself again. They weren't afraid to talk to me about my sadness and pain. One of my best friends in particular really took it upon herself to help me find my walk again. She doesn't necessarily know it, but she saved my life. Day by day, moment by moment. She didn't give up on me, and that made all the difference.  My passion for life, my love for The Lord,  my dreams, my spark, and the quirks...

Since I just officially graduated last week, I have had time to look back on my soccer career. I thought I would write a post to update friends, family, and supporters on what's going on and wrap up my USC career. I am able to happily reflect on the last home game I ever played with USC across my chest. My family got to come. They got to stand on the field of the LA Coliseum as I walked through a tunnel of teammates and fans on senior night. I hugged them and thanked them for four years of support. Four years of many ups and downs. I played my heart out that night. It might have been my best collegiate game actually. We played UCLA, our rivals, and had 10,128 fans there. It was amazing. But walking off the field watching UCLA win the PAC12 Championship stung. Something that has always hit home with me is seeing all the little kids at the games. I didn't have any sports heroes growing up and I strive to be a positive influence for kids. I just want them to know that hard wo...

I feel that in the position I have been placed in it appears that at times I may "have it all together." I don't. Unfiltered. I called my best friend, lump in my throat, stomach in knots and when she picked up, the tears flooded my eyes then the tears flowed out like a waterfall. In this moment, I was definitely not the girl who had it all together. In fact, I was the girl who had let it all fall apart. And falling apart was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. My parents went through a divorce my freshmen/sophomore year of college. I did not grow up in a broken home. We went to church every week, in fact my father was our Church Pastor, and my mother was in charge of the nursery. There comes much pressure with being the eldest daughter, even more so when an entire community is watching your every move. Starting at a young age I put the pressure on myself that I had to be perfect. Because, being perfect is what being a good Christian means, right? I w...

8:05 AM my alarm goes off.  Almost instinctively I know I have about 15 minutes to quickly check Instagram/Twitter before popping out of bed, getting dressed, and heading to the practice field.  As I scroll through my feed I see my friends, my family, lots of different sports accounts, inspirational quotes and then, I click on the “explore” page... Behold! Pictures of girls in bikinis, girls in thongs, girls lifting weights in bikinis and thongs. There are girls drinking “tiny tea” (or whatever that crock of crap is) I see fitness pages with girls donning sports bras and matching spandex. I see makeup tutorials, fake boobs and eyelash extensions. I see ginormous diamond rings, “before and after” pictures, and lots, and lots, and LOTS of pictures of Beyonce. (Note: Beyonce is definitely cool) But these images are flooding our minds! They are affecting how we see  ourselves!  They're also  influencing  the societal definition of beauty. Magaz...

Ever had that feeling; your chest is tight, there'a a lump in your throat, and you're eyes are stinging to fight back the tears? I have. Many, many, many times. So, what do you do about it? Do you find comfort after you've finished your fourth glass of wine? Or after you've eaten an entire tub of ice-cream? Oh, how about after you've slept with a random person? Maybe you feel comforted after texting your best friends, or after breaking the bank at your favorite department store? These are all temporary and earthly comforts.  There are so many ways in which we use earthly satisfactions as distractions. To distract ourselves from being vulnerable and allow ourselves to feel the pain in order to move forward; thus hindering the healing process. There are going to be many moments in our lives where we need to be comforted. Needing comfort isn't a bad thing, but it's important how you seek comfort. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues ...

      This post is about something that I have battled constantly the past few years of my life. Okay, I'm lying, my ENTIRE life! At one point it completely consumed me to a very low point. And after seeing friends go through the same struggles, I feel compelled to say, enough is ENOUGH! It is time to talk about this openly and honestly . "My hips are huge." "I hate my tiny boobs." "I wish I could have your butt." "My butt is way too big." "I have thunder thighs." "My arms are way too skinny." "I wish I had a six-pack." "I'm too muscular and manly."     These are just a few of thousands of phrases I hear daily from my friends, my classmates, teammates, strangers, and myself...     Today, we live in a culture so heavily media based that it's no wonder we are constantly comparing ourselves. We compare ourselves to the latest big name actresses, to the images of our friends (and strang...