Since I just officially graduated last week, I have had time to look back on my soccer career. I thought I would write a post to update friends, family, and supporters on what's going on and wrap up my USC career.
I am able to happily reflect on the last home game I ever played with USC across my chest. My family got to come. They got to stand on the field of the LA Coliseum as I walked through a tunnel of teammates and fans on senior night. I hugged them and thanked them for four years of support. Four years of many ups and downs. I played my heart out that night. It might have been my best collegiate game actually. We played UCLA, our rivals, and had 10,128 fans there. It was amazing. But walking off the field watching UCLA win the PAC12 Championship stung.
Something that has always hit home with me is seeing all the little kids at the games. I didn't have any sports heroes growing up and I strive to be a positive influence for kids. I just want them to know that hard work, persistence and believing in your dream can take you amazing places. So I stayed. After losing my last home game on senior night with people waiting for me back at my house, I stayed. I signed every piece of clothing, body parts, soccer balls etc. I gave all my gloves away, and handed out my red and gold hair ties. I was mentally exhausted and my body hurt. But the smiles and laughter of the kids made me feel lighter. Reminded me that it's just a game. And that I'm blessed.
I still remember the feeling. Walking off the field knowing it was the end. The last time I'd be able to do my ritualistic handshakes with my best friends. The last time I would lead the team out of the locker room. The last time I would play for the University of Southern California. It's all fresh still. We lost in the first round in a shootout. I made a save, but in the end Pepperdine had the soccer Gods on their side. I just about collapsed after the game. My teammates rushed to me at the goal and wrapped their arms around me. I remember thinking "Damn, they are going to be so good next year." And they will. I'm so proud of that squad. After talking with the media (which was difficult to swallow back tears) I opted for walking back to the locker room instead of getting on the bus. As I walked I just thought about what was next for me. Would I continue playing? Would I wave the draft and find a job? I sobbed head in hands in the locker room. Teammates started to cry as they saw me. The seniors were devastated. We all were I think. We expected to go further. I remember feeling numb. How was it all over? Four years seemingly gone in a blink of an eye. Now what?
I walked into the stadium March 9th at 8:45am and looked straight up. The Space Needle loomed over me glowing in the dark grey morning sky. I stared out at the field and the stands and pictured it filled with fans. I thought to myself am I really in Seattle? I walked through the players tunnel and into the locker room and saw "Stanley" with practice gear sitting in a locker. I greeted other players, the coaches, and started dressing for practice. One month. I thought. You have one month to prove you should be here all season.
I am able to happily reflect on the last home game I ever played with USC across my chest. My family got to come. They got to stand on the field of the LA Coliseum as I walked through a tunnel of teammates and fans on senior night. I hugged them and thanked them for four years of support. Four years of many ups and downs. I played my heart out that night. It might have been my best collegiate game actually. We played UCLA, our rivals, and had 10,128 fans there. It was amazing. But walking off the field watching UCLA win the PAC12 Championship stung.
Something that has always hit home with me is seeing all the little kids at the games. I didn't have any sports heroes growing up and I strive to be a positive influence for kids. I just want them to know that hard work, persistence and believing in your dream can take you amazing places. So I stayed. After losing my last home game on senior night with people waiting for me back at my house, I stayed. I signed every piece of clothing, body parts, soccer balls etc. I gave all my gloves away, and handed out my red and gold hair ties. I was mentally exhausted and my body hurt. But the smiles and laughter of the kids made me feel lighter. Reminded me that it's just a game. And that I'm blessed.
I still remember the feeling. Walking off the field knowing it was the end. The last time I'd be able to do my ritualistic handshakes with my best friends. The last time I would lead the team out of the locker room. The last time I would play for the University of Southern California. It's all fresh still. We lost in the first round in a shootout. I made a save, but in the end Pepperdine had the soccer Gods on their side. I just about collapsed after the game. My teammates rushed to me at the goal and wrapped their arms around me. I remember thinking "Damn, they are going to be so good next year." And they will. I'm so proud of that squad. After talking with the media (which was difficult to swallow back tears) I opted for walking back to the locker room instead of getting on the bus. As I walked I just thought about what was next for me. Would I continue playing? Would I wave the draft and find a job? I sobbed head in hands in the locker room. Teammates started to cry as they saw me. The seniors were devastated. We all were I think. We expected to go further. I remember feeling numb. How was it all over? Four years seemingly gone in a blink of an eye. Now what?
I walked into the stadium March 9th at 8:45am and looked straight up. The Space Needle loomed over me glowing in the dark grey morning sky. I stared out at the field and the stands and pictured it filled with fans. I thought to myself am I really in Seattle? I walked through the players tunnel and into the locker room and saw "Stanley" with practice gear sitting in a locker. I greeted other players, the coaches, and started dressing for practice. One month. I thought. You have one month to prove you should be here all season.
The next month was a blur. Training every morning, in the rain and cold. Achy muscles and soaking wet clothes. People being cut, people being brought in, trades being made and a coaches vision being molded.
Our last preseason game was against UW in our stadium. The bright lights and rehearsed cheers from fans created a different atmosphere from college. In the second half it was only 2-0. Then coach turned to me and pointed. I quickly jumped up and started jogging. These would be my first few minutes in a professional uniform, preseason game or not, I was stoked! I lined up to sub in for Kops (Haley Kopmeyer) and ran onto the field. I didn't have to do much but some back passes and a long ball. But I didn't care. I was beaming after the game. Fast forward to the end of the month. Today was the day the National Team girls would return. Turning the intensity in training up another notch. I had never met her. I'd seen her play in person once. But that was all. I thought to myself, what do you say to the greatest goalkeeper in the world? Someone you've watched play for over a decade and strived to mimic? Before I could really think about an answer I looked up from my locker, "Hi, I'm Hope. Caroline?" I think I said "hi." But from there on our she was my teammate and training partner.
We trained hard. I mean hard! I was loving it. Every day was more fun. As the three of us goalkeepers got more comfortable we started to help each other more. The two of them broke down my technique. Every step, every movement, every goal and every save. I felt supported and like I was making strides to be a better GK every day.
Training sessions have gotten more detail oriented. Every single repetition requires full concentration and effort. It's a full on learning curve. Moving from high school to college is touch. College to the pros though, even tougher. You're now playing with the greatest players in the world. Something that I will never take for granted.
As the school year has come to a close, and I see all of my friends taking their graduation pictures, participating in senior traditions, and packing up to start their new jobs. It does indeed sadden me a little bit to miss out on those experiences. However, I have had a dream since I was eight years old, and I am taking steps to make that dream come true with the thanks to my professors, coaches and the entire USC athletic department. It would not have been possible without their confidence and support.
No matter where I am, or what team I'm playing for, I'm still just the little girl from Lee's Summit with a dream in her heart and her head in the clouds.
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