God, Grace & The Grit In Between

I feel that in the position I have been placed in it appears that at times I may "have it all together." I don't. Unfiltered. I called my best friend, lump in my throat, stomach in knots and when she picked up, the tears flooded my eyes then the tears flowed out like a waterfall. In this moment, I was definitely not the girl who had it all together. In fact, I was the girl who had let it all fall apart. And falling apart was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. My parents went through a divorce my freshmen/sophomore year of college. I did not grow up in a broken home. We went to church every week, in fact my father was our Church Pastor, and my mother was in charge of the nursery. There comes much pressure with being the eldest daughter, even more so when an entire community is watching your every move. Starting at a young age I put the pressure on myself that I had to be perfect. Because, being perfect is what being a good Christian means, right? I w

8:05 AM my alarm goes off.  Almost instinctively I know I have about 15 minutes to quickly check Instagram/Twitter before popping out of bed, getting dressed, and heading to the practice field.  As I scroll through my feed I see my friends, my family, lots of different sports accounts, inspirational quotes and then, I click on the “explore” page... Behold! Pictures of girls in bikinis, girls in thongs, girls lifting weights in bikinis and thongs. There are girls drinking “tiny tea” (or whatever that crock of crap is) I see fitness pages with girls donning sports bras and matching spandex. I see makeup tutorials, fake boobs and eyelash extensions. I see ginormous diamond rings, “before and after” pictures, and lots, and lots, and LOTS of pictures of Beyonce. (Note: Beyonce is definitely cool) But these images are flooding our minds! They are affecting how we see  ourselves!  They're also  influencing  the societal definition of beauty. Magazines, Twitter, Instagram,

Ever had that feeling; your chest is tight, there'a a lump in your throat, and you're eyes are stinging to fight back the tears? I have. Many, many, many times. So, what do you do about it? Do you find comfort after you've finished your fourth glass of wine? Or after you've eaten an entire tub of ice-cream? Oh, how about after you've slept with a random person? Maybe you feel comforted after texting your best friends, or after breaking the bank at your favorite department store? These are all temporary and earthly comforts.  There are so many ways in which we use earthly satisfactions as distractions. To distract ourselves from being vulnerable and allow ourselves to feel the pain in order to move forward; thus hindering the healing process. There are going to be many moments in our lives where we need to be comforted. Needing comfort isn't a bad thing, but it's important how you seek comfort. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues

      This post is about something that I have battled constantly the past few years of my life. Okay, I'm lying, my ENTIRE life! At one point it completely consumed me to a very low point. And after seeing friends go through the same struggles, I feel compelled to say, enough is ENOUGH! It is time to talk about this openly and honestly . "My hips are huge." "I hate my tiny boobs." "I wish I could have your butt." "My butt is way too big." "I have thunder thighs." "My arms are way too skinny." "I wish I had a six-pack." "I'm too muscular and manly."     These are just a few of thousands of phrases I hear daily from my friends, my classmates, teammates, strangers, and myself...     Today, we live in a culture so heavily media based that it's no wonder we are constantly comparing ourselves. We compare ourselves to the latest big name actresses, to the images of our friends (and strang

Lessons I Will Take Into 2014 (And other things that have changed my life)  I am writing this because being home for the holidays has made me realize just how much I have changed since living on my own, and more importantly made me reflect on all my past mistakes over the past few years. This letter is for anyone! I felt inspired to write this because these are a few things that have been on my heart recently. Hopefully something will resonate with you!  1. Everyday is a good day. I heard this for the first time from one of my best friends Father, before he passed away our senior year. He said, "There is no such thing as a bad day." And he was right. There isn't. Sure, you may have an "off" day. But you're still breathing, capable of putting on a smile, and you always have someone that loves you. If that seems too cliche or not enough for you, then remember that only YOU hold the power to make it a good day.  "For I know the plans for you decla